PROVIDENCE, RI — Citing “unavoidable infernal heating costs” and “market volatility in the underworld,” RI Energy announced Monday yet another rate increase, assuring customers the hike is absolutely necessary to keep its CEO, Satan, “comfortably warm” in Hell throughout the winter months.

“At RI Energy, our top priority has always been executive comfort,” said company spokesperson Damian Blayze, standing in front of a PowerPoint slide titled Eternal Flames Aren’t Cheap. “With rising brimstone prices, supply chain disruptions in the Ninth Circle, and increased demand for luxury lava amenities, we simply had no choice but to pass these costs directly onto Rhode Islanders.”

According to internal documents leaked by a disgruntled demon intern, the rate increase will fund several key initiatives, including heated obsidian flooring in Satan’s corner office, artisanal fire pits, and a state-of-the-art geothermal throne designed to maintain a “toasty but not sweaty” 78 degrees Fahrenheit.

“Satan doesn’t need to be warm,” Blayze clarified. “But he deserves to be. And frankly, if that means your January bill doubles while you sit in a parka eating soup out of a mug, that’s just the free market at work.”

Customers across the state reacted with a mix of rage, resignation, and the hollow laughter that comes from opening a utility bill and immediately dissociating.

“I don’t even turn my heat on anymore,” said East Providence resident Linda Caruso, who now relies on a combination of blankets, candles, and pure spite to stay warm. “But it’s nice to know my sacrifice is ensuring Satan enjoys radiant floor heating.”

RI Energy emphasized that the increase was carefully calculated to be “just high enough to hurt, but not high enough to spark meaningful reform.” The company also reassured customers that this would be the last rate hike for the foreseeable future—defined internally as “until the next quarterly earnings call.”

When asked whether executive bonuses played a role in the decision, Blayze shook his head solemnly. “This has nothing to do with bonuses. This is about sustainability. Specifically, sustaining Satan’s lifestyle.”

At press time, RI Energy announced it would be holding a public listening session to hear customer concerns, though attendees were reminded that the session would be non-binding, ceremonial, and held in a room without microphones.

Meanwhile, Satan himself released a brief statement from Hell: “I appreciate the sacrifice, Rhode Island. Stay cold.”